"Temporality is part of the truth" -- Chuck Klosterman

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Back is Best

Xander has the biggest outie I've ever seen. He might never forgive me for putting this on the internet, but this is what his belly button looks like:

Notice the worried look on his face. But don't you worry, delicate reader, he almost always has that furrowed brow and such an outie doesn't really mean anything. The doctor tells us it's herniated, most likely from the straining he did just to breathe for the first few weeks. But there's nothing to be done about it. It will go away on it's own. It's not painful, it's not damaging. In fact, it can be fun. Push it in and it pops back out, sometimes slowly enough that you can place bets on when it will reach its bulbous heights. Listen carefully and you can here some innards squishing around. He's kinda like a Tickle Me Elmo, but without the red plush.

The other thing I've decided is that Xander looks like Louis CK. Louis CK is a stand up comedian with his own show on FX, had a small part on Parks and Recreation for a few episodes last year, and likes to hang around with Ricky Gervais. This is a photo of the comedian without his standard goatee:

This is Xander Wescott. He's not into the stand up scene yet--it's mostly just lean and fall over--but he can make funny faces and scream at inappropriate times. The only show he's been in is called "Three Pushes: The Story of a Mother's Labor." Unfortunately, it was a stage production that went on live and unfilmed.

Take a close look at the hairlines. It's uncanny. Even moreso just after Xander's had a bath and his hair is all poofy.

Xander is also beginning to lose the hair off the back of his head because of how he sleeps. So now he's growing the bald spot in the wrong place. All the literature these days says "Back is Best." In fact, we've got some velcro sleep sacks for swaddling that have that slogan printed right on the front, as if to remind me every time I put in down to rest. But I wonder, if I allowed him to sleep on his stomach once in a while, would his massive outie become an innie?


  1. I have seen herniated BB's before, but this one is certainly majestic.

  2. OMG he's sooo cute. I have a friend who still has a herniated bellybutton, but he just never chose to get it taken off. I think it's very becoming. Hopefully Xander's will disappear before puberty. Thanks for the laughs - "three pushes" lol. Was that all??

  3. I remember the embarrassment of old photos when friends would come over. The internet gives parents the ease of embarrassing their children much more publicly and early. Your son is so lucky to have you as he learns to laugh at life. Ü
    Funny Stuff I Write

  4. Megan & Bradley never really lost hair in the back of their head while sleeping because a couple times a night we would gently move their head to face the other direction. :)

  5. that also helps them have a nice shaped head, which is a plus

  6. hey brent, I love the look of your blog! it suits you! I love the pictures of the outie, it will go down, I promise, and all my kids wore the hair off the back of their heads. I'm sure ellie and percy did too. =0) Thanks btw for your comments on my blog too. I really appreciate them, especially since you are a high school english teacher, and a tough one at that! It means a lot to me that you liked my story, and yes... eyes do catch a girl's heart! =0) so I'm sure Xander will be catching tons of hearts when he is bigger!

  7. Haha your son is cute and you seem like a lovely father! I like your blog and I'm following :D

  8. Nice post. You seem like really nice guy and I hope everything works out for you. I'll be reading from now on.