Monday, January 9, 2012
Zombie Crime and Punishment Rabbits
I actually read it just for fun back when I was in college. Well, for fun and to meet chicks. I carried it around with me and hoped girls would ask me what I was reading. Okay, I wasn't that desperate, but it worked that way at least once.
I was on the window ledge of one of the girls' dorms working as a window washer. (I'm not making this up. It was actually pretty good, easy work, until the weather got cold and the outdoor window washers became indoor bathroom cleaners.) Anyhoo, a girl in one room started flirting with me through her window, and when she saw that I was reading Crime and Punishment, she became so captivated by my mystique that she began stalking me. That's a slight exaggeration, but she did find out where I lived, met my roommate, and they got married shortly thereafter.
I try to explain the power of carrying around good literature to my students, but they just scoff.
As a segue to the other thing I have to share today, I offer the following mash-up for the taking. In the tradition of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies or Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, howza 'bout Zombie Crime and Punishment Rabbits?
See, Raskolnikov isn't out to prove he's entitled to flaunt society's law and kill an old harpy pawn broker because he's really an "extraordinary man." Instead, he is well on his way to making his living in the legal profession so he can care for his beloved mother and sister while saving hookers with hearts of gold, when he's brutally bitten by the dreadful Zombie Rabbit, causing an apathetic fever, sluggish strolls through St. Petersburg in Summer, and a desire to axe women in the head to get at their brains. Plus, fiery red eyeballs.
This million-dollar idea comes to you courtesy of Dave at Dave Wrote This, who has offered the coveted Zombie Rabbit Award to yours truly. I'm not sure of the point, exactly, but I accept the honor by passing it along to a couple of other blogs.
Check out Charlie's brain at Notice Your World, who has published his own guide to surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.
Or read one of TJ Reed's cool-as-brains zombie stories at They Won't Get Us.
And even though she doesn't normally write zombie poetry, try one of Lolamouse's tasty brains of a poem at Mouse Droppings. You'll be back for more.