"Temporality is part of the truth" -- Chuck Klosterman

Monday, January 23, 2012

Share My Pithiness

Last week my wife and I had a Facebook duel with competing comments on a friend's post. It was Brad Pitt's fault.

It was one of those posts where someone has taken a saying or a quote and pasted it onto a famous face or embarrassing picture in order to give the text heft. Sometimes the person actually said what they are quoted as to have said, sometimes not. For instance, Nelson Mandela did not say, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, blah, blah, blah." But the internet memes seem to think he did.
I didn't create this...and I've just added to the problem, haven't I?

People think these memes are funny or, worse, meaningful. They share them to Facebook and write things like "Wow!" or "So true" underneath. I don't get most of them. Rather, I don't get what most people see in these memes. I mean--and this is what I said in my Facebook joust with my wife--I say pithy stuff all the time and no one puts together a photoshopped poster of me and my best lines and posts it on Facebook.

So this is what my wife did:
Lesson learned: Don't watch American Horror Story late at night in the dark
with headphones on at a desk where someone can creep up behind you.

And she posted it on my Facebook wall. Isn't she sweet?

To my knowledge no one else has shared this to their own wall or passed it on to their friends, though I'm sure a few dozen of my own friends must have seen it. So I decided to boost the odds. Because I am lame, my wife showed me how to use Paint to come up with my own pithy quote poster memes.

I offer you these prefab pictures of my head (and one of Xander's) and Facebook posts gathered from my wall. They are all real, all thoughtful, and all fairly pop-culture-centric. I don't know much about anything else. Except red velvet.

Did you ever wonder what happened to Cameron when his
dad came home to find his car crashed into the gully?

I just re-experienced one of the most formative television events of my youth:
DEVO on Square Pegs.
It's a totally different head. Totally.

I don't know what flavor red velvet is, but it's my favorite flavor.

Watched My So-Called Life on Netflix this morning.
Blasted Alanis Morrisette in the car this afternoon.
Coincidentally shaved my facial hair into a goatee today...Viva la 1993!

Below are some extra lines for those of you who haven't followed my Facebooking with fervor from the moment I signed on about a year ago. Feel free to build your own meme with your own clever imagery and share it on your blog or Facebook or Twitter or whatever else you got in order to spread my personal wisdom throughout the five corners of the internets. (By the way, the text is copywrited and the images are property of Building Castles on the Beach and www.brentwescott.com. SOPA and PIPA regulations apply.)

Tell you what: In order to get the ball rolling, we'll make it a contest. Since I don't yet have a book of my own to give away, I'll buy a copy of my brother-in-law's epic sci-fi-fantasy-rom-com mash-up e-book, The Crystal Bridge (see my own review over on my Shelfari) for the person with the best one. Email me or comment below to let me know where to view your meme with my words. I'll give you until next Monday. Have fun and spread the word. Just make sure you leave a "Wow!" here and a "So true" there.

"Why did I wake up this morning? Oh yeah. Snow Day."

"Should I buy an iPad just so I can get the new Bjork album?"

"I'd forgotten that Prince's "1999" is really an anti-war song. "Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb?""

"Just watched 127 Hours. Ouch. But playing Sigur Ros at the end is a satisfactory balm."

"The Friday of a week-long break makes me sad."

"Is it just nostalgia, or is The Cosby Show still funny?"

"We need to stop giving that Rapture/Apocalypse-guessing guy any more press. All he's getting is more and more famous. I think I'd rather know what Lady Gaga is wearing today."

"Despite the title of my recent blog post, I have never seen Dirty Dancing."

And as a bonus, from a couple of years ago, before I was ever on Facebook, I made my wife post this to her wall:

Singing "Poker Face" with your mom is like singing "Afternoon Delight" with your uncle.


  1. Brent, I think you really need to make a collection of these gems and put them all into a book. Or needle point them onto a pillow, or something. You've got some fabulous wisdom here. Don't just keep it all to yourself!

    I don't know if I'll have the time to do something for your contest, but here's hoping a lot of other people will come through. :)

  2. Those look like some great chapter headings to me!

    Good luck getting other people to help you get famous. ;)
    I'd make one myself, but I have no idea how. I'm barley computer literate enough to keep my blog up and running.

  3. I had something vaguely snotty (but not really pithy so much) to say. Then I read the reply from Candice and had to stop and giggle for several minutes imagining you needlepointing your sayings into a pillow.

    After that I kind of lost my thread (ahem) so to speak.

  4. @ Candice: I'll have to see if others spread the wealth because I don't have the patience to do any more myself. But a book sounds swell.

    @ Julie: I'm the next internet sensation. I can feel it.

    @ darev: I actually know how to cross stitch. I could probably learn needlepoint. I'm off to buy some pillows...

  5. One of the quotes that I hate seeing passed around is one that is supposedly attributed to Mother Theresa of Calcutta. I read on Snopes that this quote did not come from her. So I have my doubts that she actually said it. But sometimes things can be extremely difficult to verify.

  6. This reminds me of that thing Abraham Lincoln said, "I will totally eff up the South, just watch."

    So true.... anyway, looks like there are tons of quotes there to choose from. It is a brilliant idea to do those. I might take a gander myself. Not sure though.

  7. OK. Here's my entry. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=243048379105800&set=a.129146853829287.30630.100002019192480&type=1&theater

  8. There's a great one somewhere. It has a picture of Albus Dumbledore and the text says "Do or do not. There is no try. -Gandalf"

    That just kills me every time.

  9. @ Michael: Snopes is pretty good at the research. Of course the danger is just accepting what Snopes has to say about it. they could be making it all up themselves.

    @ Rusty: Like the last thing he said to his wife before she stepped out of the theater booth to get a snack: "No footlongs." Wait, that was Ned Flanders.

    @ Wifey: But your meme doesn't use one of my pithy statements. It's out of the running.

    @ darev: That one does make me laugh. For all the right reasons.

  10. Quirky cool blog:) I like the Facebook dueling as well;)

  11. In return of the awesome Zombie Rabbit Award I received from you, I have awarded you with one sir! You can pick it up at my blog. Thanks!!

  12. @ Mark: Thanks. Facebook dueling with the wife is a favorite pasttime.

    @ TJ: And thanks to you.