I'm already in negative mode because I had to go back to school today. Students show up next Tuesday. I will have very little time to prepare for their arrival. But I whined enough about that last post. Instead I will add more whining about other lacks of time.
With school starting, that means less time to write.
I also coach soccer, so most days between now and November I will be away from home for nearly twelve hours a day, even more when we have away night games. And it's not like any of those hours include down time. I have thirty minutes for lunch, and with that time I basically have to eat lunch. The other two hours a day when I won't be teaching or coaching I will be planning and prepping and gathering data and, soon enough, grading. (My IB classes have summer homework to turn in the first day of school. Don't tell them, but I usually give a day or two grace period; still, I have to start grading stuff early on.)
I'm not bemoaning my job. I love teaching. I love coaching soccer. But I don't love feeling like--no, not "feeling like"--I don't love simply not having enough time to do my job. Close to or more than 150 students will filter in and out of my room next Tuesday and every day thereafter. If I'm to be the best teacher I can be to each one of those students, the time allotted is not enough.
And then I seem to lose time to do anything else in my life. What happens is I push the GO button when I leave the house in the morning, push PAUSE for a half hour to refuel, then GO again until I get home later in the evening. This year, at least, I have one planning period before lunch and one after. That breaks up the day a bit. Last year, I taught class for four hours straight before lunch and that wiped me out good for the rest of the day.
This is all to say that it leaves me with little energy to write. To stay up past my son's bedtime and type away for a couple of hours hardly happens when I'm in school. Just to get home in time to see my son before he goes to bed is a boon. Then to try to think on top of that? Doesn't happen very often.
So my insecurity this month is about time. How will I find the time to get any writing done, to work towards any artificial goals I've set for myself, to live the dream?
Any and all suggestions are welcome.
|Time, Clock of the Heart. Thank you Boy George.|