"Temporality is part of the truth" -- Chuck Klosterman

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Grape Diet Dr Pepper

Chanel over at Fabulously Neurotic has lobbed the Versatile Blogger award my way. This is very kind and I don't deserve to win any more than the others who were also nominated, but still, I blush. I'm not sure what to do with this, since Bryan at nuclearheadache came up with ideas for all kinds of blog awards but this one.
Enough with the in-jokes. I'm supposed to tell you seven things about me, so in order to show how versatile I am, I tender the following information. See if you can count seven fun facts about yours truly.

I love a soda with a fruity filling. Not literally, because no one wants to chug a Coke and suck down a couple of blueberries into their esophagus. But I enjoy the sweet candy flavors that resemble fruit juice. Every one of the seasonal varieties of Mountain Dew is liquid sunshine. Voltage. Supernova. Revolution. I get energized just seeing a new strain on the shelf and I die little inside when it's gone.

He doesn''t drink diet.
Nevertheless, I'm primarily partial to anything offering a cherry taste. A friend says Code Red Mountain Dew is laced with crack, so I've had to turn to Diet Dew in recent years. Otherwise I'm afraid my waist line would expand so far I'd be wearing muumuus. Drinking mostly diet soda only makes me wonder if I'm giving myself cancer.

Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi is decent; however, I don't really like Diet Cherry Coke. (Regular Cherry Coke is great, but I only drink it at the movies.) I was especially keen on the Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper, but it's now merely cherry minus the vanilla. I still drink it, even though at first it tasted like cough syrup. Like the lack of sugar, you get used to it. For the best non-diet, non-caffeine flavor out there, try Cherry Crush. It's like catnip...laced with crack. Only it doesn't come in a diet variety, so I have to will myself to limit intake.

In spite of my preference for all things cherry, the other day I asked my wife to pick up some grape soda. I like to make a purple cow, mixing in the vanilla ice cream. She brought home some off brand kind that must have been on sale, and while I'm not bemoaning the fact she got what I asked for, I cursed myself for not specifying that I needed Welch's Sparkling Grape soda. (I also only drink Sunkist Orange soda, okay?)

All the next day, a twelve-pack of grape soda sat on the kitchen table taunting me. I only had a few (regular) Diet Dr Peppers left in the fridge. And brainstorm: Combine the two to extend the life of all the soda. It's quite remarkable, I've found, how many other flavors grape blends nicely with. Grape-cherry. Grape-lemon. Grape-lime. And now, it's been going in and out of style. It's guaranteed to raise a smile. So may I introduce to you: Grape Diet Dr Pepper.

(If I were at all versatile for reals, I'd be able to draw an arrow or some cartoon graphic demonstrating the need to mix these two cans of liquid to make one splendorific taste explosion.)

I've never been sure exactly what flavor Dr Pepper is supposed to be, and I suspect that's part of it's appeal. But at least now we know grape only complements it. Next maybe I'll try a Grape Pepsi. Or Grape Code Red Mountian Dew. Or Grape Guarana. As if Guarana needed any improvement at all.
Best soda ever.


  1. Of course Sunkist is the best orange soda -- it's the one with caffeine!

  2. The main flavor in Dr. Pepper is prune. Interesting enough, when it was first invented Dr. Pepper was used as a laxative. Now you have 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper, but the distinct Dr. Pepper taste is because of the prune flavoring.

    I know this because I am obsessed with any and all things Dr. Pepper. It is my Drug of Choice.

    I'm not a big believer is messing with the flavor, though. And especially not with grape because I hate grape. However, I have to say that Cherry Dr. Pepper is pretty great.

    Also, I sang that part in my head. "It's been goin' in and out of style. And it's guarenteed to raise a smile. So let me introduce to you...Grape Diet Dr. Pep-peeeeeee-eeeer-eerr-rr." Or however you would write it out.

  3. @ Paul: There's something especially smooth about the Sunkist soda. I just found out recently it was the caffeine.

    @ Chanel: I think I knew at one point that Dr Pepper was pruney, but I must have blocked it out. It just doesn't sound right.
    I love it when people get my allusions. I laughed out loud thinking of you singing along. I thought about calling it Sargent Pepper's Grape Dr. Pepper or something like that, but thought it too obvious.

  4. Yes, the thought of prune is a little off putting, isn't it? But it's the twenty two other flavors that make it the awesomeness that it is.

    The Beatles actually wanted to call the song "Doctor Pepper's Lonely Heartsclub Band" because they loved the soda. Yes, my obsession with Dr Pepper and the Beatles has led me to this discovery. The Beatles loved Dr Pepper. Unfortunately, the name was copyrighted so they made it Sargent Pepper's instead. So you would be completely accurate if you said, "Dr Pepper Yummy Grape Concoooooo-oooc-tion!" Or something.

  5. I heard if you play the whole album backwards you can hear John and Paul arguing over the title. Jon wanted Dr Pepper and Paul wanted Dr Seuss. They compromised, I guess.

    And I like how you keep writing out the last word as if you were singing those notes in "Band." "Baaaaaa-aaa-nnnnnnnnd." Nice.

  6. I sell soda for a living so I am an expert. I could sell my services as an expert witness in court if anyone would be silly enough to hire me. Did you know printed on a regular Dr. Pepper box is "cherry flavored?" Look for yourself if you don't believe me. Cherries must be one of the 23, but Chanel is right about the prunes.

    I'm a Cherry Coke guy myself, and Dr. P does not taste like cherries.

  7. Okay I freaking love Diet Dr Pepper, so now I have to get some grape soda and make magic. We don't have that brand of grape here I don't think, but hopefully the awesomeness of DDP will outweigh any differences in flavor from different brand of grape.

    Have you ever tried 'Ting'? It's a sparkling grapefruity pop made in Jamaica. Very refreshing.

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

  8. @ Doug: Do you ever get bored at work and just start mixing up the sodas? I would totally do that.

    @ Angela: Never heard of Ting. I'll have to look around for it. There's a new White Out Mountain Dew that kind of tastes grapefruity. Like Squirt with a kick. Mmmmmmm.

  9. I'm going to be a know-it-all, but you can ask my wife, I can't help it. Dr Pepper is a love of mine going back a good 15 years now. There is no prunes in it! This is an urban legend that does not want to go away. Do not keep it going.

    Okay...I'm done.

    I like cherry in it too. I had a girlfriend in high school who was super addicted to Dr Pepper and she wore cherry lip gloss. Needless to say...Cherry Dr P. tastes like kisses. Always will.

  10. Not that I'd know or anything, but I suspect Grape Welches is probably pretty good with a shot of vodka...?

  11. @ Charlie: Are you saying no prunes or no prune flavor? I feel like I need to know the truth here and I'm getting conflicting reports. Doug? You sell the stuff. Where do you stand on the prune theory?

    @ Sandra: I wouldn't know anything about that either. :)

  12. Weird about the prune stuff. I was watching a Dr.Pepper documentary and the VP was laughing about that rumor and assured everyone that Prune is NOT one of the many flavors in DP.


    I also drink primarily diet sodas, and diet Dr. Pepper goes amazingly well with Bacardi Black Cherry rum. :3


  13. @ TK: Thanks for the Snopes update. It seems there is officially no prunes in Dr Pepper. Also, the Snopes article explains why there is no period in the "Dr" of Dr Pepper. Which is interesting...to me.